Keith Clark is the stuff of legends. A customer of Santander, he was fed up with waiting almost 3 weeks for a replacement debit to be sent out to him.
As is often the case with customer service at banks, promises were made that were not kept. In frustration, he took to Facebook to vent on Santander’s page.
He pointed out that it would have been quicker for him to switch banks and apply for a new card rather than wait for the replacement sent by Santander.
Been waiting for a replacement debit card for 19 days. First guy that said he sent one out, didn’t, second one is nowhere to be found. Guy on the phone said he was going to cancel this second one and I would have to wait another eight-to-ten days for the third, bringing me up to an entire calender month.
If I was with Metro Bank, and I needed a replacement card, I could walk into any branch, 364 days a year and they would print me one out on the spot. Santander? Ten days.
With the seven-day-switch, it’s actually quicker for me to entirely uproot and change banks and get a new card from them, than it is to wait eight-to-ten days with you. How does that make sense? Ridiculous.
Later that day, without having made any further progress, he returned to the Santander page to espouse a story of woe, in which he loses the girl on account of being without a debit card.
Fifty years later, Keith would die alone, and unloved, surrounded by his cats, and collection of Jeremy Clarkson literature. His one chance at happiness hampered by his lack of debit card.
The following day, he returned to the Santander page, having made no progress in his search for his debit card. As an avid cross-stitcher, he decided to test whether 3 weeks was really an acceptable amount of time for a bank to send anything.
Our man Keith cross-stitched his own Santander debit card and popped it into the post, admitting that if the entire process took 20 days, he would whole-heartedly apologise to Santander.
Now, on the other hand, if it takes twenty days to get to you, then I will accept that perhaps I’m being pushy. And I will get down on my hands and knees and beg forgiveness.
Anything less than twenty days, and I would like you to justify to me how, in 2015, you cannot get me a debit card when I need one. I’m a customer of ten years, living within minutes of half a dozen branches, working within fifteen minutes of your head office in London, and I have plenty of free time to wait around for couriers or delivery guys.
And here he is with his cross-stitched Santander debit card, in all it’s glory.
However, Keith’s story didn’t end there and his woes continued. Without a debit card these days, you are effectively a second-class citizen. Unable to update his card details with his various online accounts, his media accounts began getting shut off, one at a time. First Netflix, then the WWE network and finally Spotify all began shutting down around him.
My debit card had better come soon!’ he yells. ‘I need new media!’ Cursing the names of God and Santander in a single breath, he weeps. And opens the cover of the unwanted tome. Tears fall to the page. He doesn’t want this. No-one wants this. But this is all he has.
Santander have yet to respond officially to Keith’s dilemma, although one poor social media intern is currently taking a lot of heat on the Facebook page.
Follow the full saga on Santander’s Facebook page.