As a race, we are built to be incredibly forgiving of the celebrities we adore. An A-list film start drowned a litter of puppies? We’ll forget about that in an instant if he acts in a superhero film we enjoy.
That’s exactly why we believe it’s critical to remind you all that the stars you love the most can also be utter douchebags. For instance…
Steve Jobs Said He Was Unable To Have Children So He Could Deny Paternity Of His First Daughter
Steve Jobs, perhaps most famous for being played by Ashton Kutcher in some film, was also the man behind creating the phone you’re more than likely reading this article on. Before that, however, Jobs’ private life was, for the most part, private.
That’s why it came as a shock to learn about his relationship with one Chrisann Brennan. When Jobs and Brenann lived in Cupertino, way back in 1977, Jobs straight-up refused to share a bed with her.
Unsurprising then that the couple split shortly after Brenann fell pregnant. When she gave birth to her daughter, Lisa, in 1978, Jobs was not pleased.
In fact, for 2 full years, he strenuously denied that he was her dad. He even was as far as getting sworn court documents saying that he couldn’t possibly be her father on account of the fact that he was infertile. News flash: he was not.
And so even though Jobs was several decades away from becoming the tech billionaire we know today, he was still a tech millionaire. So, allowing your first born to live on welfare cheques and a humble waitress salary while you’re one of the richest men in the world is a very dick move.
It was only after a lengthy court battle that Jobs was eventually forced to pay back the state for the welfare they’d being giving his child. A measly $500 a month. Which, when you’re Steve Jobs rich, is mere walking around money.
Steven Tyler Won Legal Custody Of A Teenager He Was Sleeping With, Allegedly Pressured Her Into Aborting Their Child
Today Steven Tyler is best known as a sexier, more camp version of your gran, way back in the 1970’s, Tyler was the frontman of one of the biggest acts in the world. But, as it turns out, Steven Tyler wasn’t only in Aerosmith for the money and the fame. At around the time Aerosmith’s fame was peaking, Tyler looked deep into his soul and found the personal strength to take legal custody of a troubled teenage fan — so that he could have roughly ALL of the sex with her.
That’s right. Julia Holcomb, a teenager with a troubled past, met Tyler backstage at an Aerosmith show. And when she did, her mother (who had a history of poor life choices), happily signed over full legal custody of her daughter to the rocker.
And, as you may have guessed by now, this fantastic new living arrangement did exactly ZERO to help Julia’s living conditions. According to Julia, a perpetually coked-up Tyler coerced her into having children with him by throwing her birth control pills over a balcony.
After she fell pregnant, he went away on an Aerosmith tour, abandoning her in his Boston flat. The flat then caught fire, which almost killed her. She was only able to survive because she crawled into a fireplace. When she was in the hospital recovering from the ordeal, Holcomb says that Tyler spent ages trying to convince her to abort the pregnancy which, by this stage was 5 months along. A coked-up Tyler then allegedly sat in while the doctors performed the abortion, presumably to ensure it “took”.
Jay Z Knifed A Record Producer While They Were At A Party Together
Jay Z is famously one of the most successful and prolific rappers of all time. When he isn’t pumping out records (which is approximately all of the time), he uses his clout as a celebrity in the public eye to flog everything from batteries to booze. He is also a comfortable half of the celebrity super-being, Z-Yonce, which we’re not sure is the technical definition, but it is now. As a shrewd businessman, he has owned sports teams and record labels.
Oh, and he also stabbed the living bejesus out of a guy. This doesn’t often make it onto his official biography, but it’s true.
Jay Z’s journey to fame and fortune wasn’t without it’s obstacles. Without a chance of getting a recording contract, he began flogging CDs from the boot of his car, before eventually founding his own record label. Roc-A-Fella Records put out his first album in 1996. So, you would be forgiven for thinking that a man who had worked so hard to get to where he was, might get a bit stabby if he found someone stealing his work.
Jump forward in time to the year 1999. Jay Z had recently put out his album, The Life And Times Of S. Carter. Word on the street was that a record exec called Lance Rivera had been bootlegging it. And so, when Jay Z spotted him at a party in Manhattan’s Kit Kat Club, he did the only thing a man in his position could possible do — he stabbed Rivera in the abdomen with a five-inch blade. While it no doubt hurt like an absolute son of a bitch, Rivera wasn’t seriously injured, and would go on to recover from the attack after a brief hospital stay.